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Duncan Kane
23 June 2008 @ 12:37 pm
I miss you, every single day.
Duncan Kane
22 June 2008 @ 04:46 pm
My daughter is so beautiful.
Duncan Kane

Meeting Logan Echolls for the first time (or not I suppose) was strange. His eyes lit up and watered a bit. I could tell that he was disappointed that I didn't recognize him. It was weird that I couldn't remember this person who apparently was so intricate to my existence or the daughter that must have been taken away from me at some point. It was hard to hear about the sister I didn't know I had and how she had died.

"Wow, my life sounds like a soap opera," I said to him that first day.

He laughed, "Yeah."

I spent days trying to figure out what I should do next. Chatting with Logan and Sam - who was amazing and that didn't surprise me because Mel was amazing as well. She'd been so good to me for so long but I finally decided to go back to Neptune with Logan. I contacted my parents and the FBI and attempted to work out some kind of deal so I wouldn't go to prison for the rest of my life. My parents, who I didn't particularly want to meet, were using money to get me out of what they could.

Drama. Apparently, is in my blood.

Fandom |
Word Count | 205
Duncan Kane
09 December 2007 @ 07:43 am

When he looks in the mirror he doesn't know who the hell he's looking at. Sometimes he wants to smash his fist into that mirror and watch the blood pour over his knuckles. He would if he weren't living in Mel's house. Mel's been so good to him and asked nothing in return; well she expects him to help out and now that he's working he does. He's like a roommate and she likes that.

He thinks she's been lonely since her daughters left. She talks about them all the time, more than Steven Tyler or her exploits. He's learned all about Samantha and Regina. The way Mel loves to watch Sam dance and how her art is so sad but beautiful. How Regina's spirit makes Mel smile and feel proud of herself.

When Mel looks in the mirror she sees so many things. He asked her once what the most important job she had was. She said she was a mother even if her daughters weren't around or didn't want her around. He tells her that he's sure they just need room to breathe.

When she tells him about her ex-husband's murder rap he's not as surprised as he should be. Like he's desensitized to things like murdering husbands and death. When he realizes that he's not so sure anymore he wants to remember his life. If death doesn't bother him, if he's used to it, what kind of life did he leave behind? He doesn't understand.

Steven stares into the mirror and shaves his beard. He thinks he looks really young without facial hair and he decides that he looks less haggard, he looks like a person now. Nicer clothes, a decent job and he stares in the mirror and tries to tell himself he's a good person. Even though he flinches and hides his face anytime he sees a cop out of some kind of habit he's not sure about. He likes being non-descript, unimportant and able to blend into the crowd. Steven likes being nobody to the world. He feels like there's nothing but his lost memory on his shoulders and it's heavy but this fresh start is freeing.

He's torn between desire to know what used to fill the holes in his heart and the need to be this person that nobody looks at twice.

He doesn't know which will win out. So he keeps staring in that mirror.

Muse | Duncan Kane
Fandom | Veronica Mars
Word Count | 404
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Fall Out Boy - Sugar we're going down.
Duncan Kane
When he woke up alone on the street with a black eye he didn't know who he was. There was vomit on the shoulder of his shirt and bruises littering his body. He remembered things like the gross national product of 1999 but he had no idea where he was from or what anyone should call him.

He knew he should go to a hospital but at the same time something kept him from that; a fear of ... he didn't know.

There was no wallet, no money and his face was scruffy with a beard. He knew he was 20 years old and that he liked Jack Daniels better than Tequila but not his name. Not his home town. He didn't know if he'd ever been in love or if he had gone to college. He felt intelligent or at least he told him self he was.

The only thing he could do was go to that shelter. It wasn't too bad. He was able to shower and they gave him some new clothes. The small was a little musky but it was better than what he'd been wearing when he got there. He slept on a cot and had dreams where he cried out but he never remembered them. The woman who ran the shelter told him he called out names but they were so jumbled together she couldn't make them out.

There was a woman who came in and volunteered. Her name was Melissa and she'd always talk to him. She'd tell him about her groupie days and show him the tattoo's that her daughter had done. He didn't quite understand how crazy the woman was but he liked her. She said John Doe didn't suit him that she was going to call him Steven. After Steven Tyler. Mel was obsessed with Areosmith. It amused him.

One day she told him that he could come stay with her. It was about three months after he woke up on the street. He though she was even crazier than he'd assumed; inviting a stranger into your home is not the best idea. She just assured him she trusted him.

"You aren't dangerous Steven you just need some help," she told him one day.

She took him shopping and told him that he'd pay her back. She got him a job cleaning pools under the table with a friend of hers. He liked Miami. She would tell him about her daughters. How one just got married in Vegas a few months ago and she still hadn't met the husband. How her other daughter was rebelling by touring Europe with the Ex-Husbands money.

He liked Mel and he liked pretending he had an identity. That his name was Steven and he was a pool boy in Miami. He was even commissioning a drawing for a tattoo. Mel kept telling him she would call her daughter and ask her to do it. The place where she trained was in Miami and if she visited they'd let her guest in for him. She made the call.

His name is Steven now and he's a pool boy.

"Chlorine is comforting," He told Mel once, "I don't know why."

He feels at home among the rich houses that he works for. He figures he's always been doing this. Cleaning pools and working for people.

There's just something missing and it's not his memory. It's not that he doesn't want to find out who he is; he does. He's just afraid. How did he get where he is and what is that deep ache in his gut that grows with each day. It's like there are wholes in his heart. More than one. Less than five. Like he's missing something important and its going to kill him if he doesn't get it back.

Sometimes when he sleeps he swears he hears a baby's cry.

Muse | Duncan Kane
Fandom | Veronica Mars
Word Count | 648

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Current Location: miami, florida
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Fall Out Boy - Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying
Duncan Kane
TEN people you've never had a romantic entanglement with.

1. Logan Echolls
2. Dawn Summers
3. Gia Goodman
4. Dick Casablancas
5. Shelly Pomeroy
6. Cindy Mackenzie
7. Jackie Cook
8. Lilly Kane
9. Madison Sinclair
10. Kendall Casablancas

Muse | Duncan Kane
Fandom | Veronica Mars
Duncan Kane
03 September 2007 @ 09:58 am
TEN conversations you've never had.

1. "I'm taking my daughter and running Logan."

2. "Hi, I um ... I was really drunk last night Veronica and everything is kind of blurry but ... are you okay?"

3. "No Dad, just no."

4. "Lilly, I wish you'd just calm down a little. One day something's going to happen that you can't deal with."

5. "I'm sorry Meg. I really am."

6. "Mom! Just stop! Just fucking stop it. I'm not your golden child and Lilly is the best thing that's ever happened to this family. So stop!"

7. "Will you marry me Veronica?"

8. "Logan, you've got to know you're always going to be my best friend right? No matter what? Even if I'm an ass again and fuck things up by not being there. Even if you're an ass again and fuck things up by being you" *laugh* "But seriously. You and Me man."

9. "I don't want to go to Shelly's party man."

10. "Mom, Dad. I'm leaving neptune. We're just going to get out of here. Logan, Veronica and Me, we're just leaving and I don't think we're coming back."

Muse | Duncan Kane
Fandom | Veronica Mars
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Duncan Kane
TEN people Duncan wishes he could meet

1. Ronald Reagan
2. Carl Bernstein
3. H.G. Wells
4. David Grayson
5. Max Eastman
6. Bill Gates
7. Dr. Spock
8. Jean-Paul Sartes
9. Aristotle
10. Jesus

Duncan Kane
Veronica Mars
Duncan Kane
10 of my worst mistakes

1. Shelly’s party. That needs no other explanation.
2. Cuba
3. Mexico
4. Sleeping with Meg, even though I wouldn’t give up Lilly for the world or anything else. It just wasn’t fair to Meg.
5. Leaving Neptune.
6. Not saying goodbye to my best friend or giving him an opportunity to talk me out of it. I still miss him even though I’m back and dealing with life.
7. The silence of the summer before senior year. Another time when things just can’t go back.
8. Cutting off Veronica without a word or explanation and ruining our bubble of first love. It was never the same and it never will be. Sometimes I don’t know if that was the best or worst thing.
9. Not making that call to Clarence sooner.
10. Never telling Lilly how much I loved her. How much she really meant to me. Sometimes I look back and think she didn’t know and then I think she had to know. She had to know that everyday I was thankful I had her as a sister. I miss her so fucking much I can’t breathe sometimes.

Duncan Kane
Veronica Mars
Duncan Kane
10 things about your family.

1. The Kane’s are responsible for the wealth of most of the upper class in Neptune. Also, responsible by default for the lack of middle class in Neptune. Not to mention employing a good bit of the lower class.

2. Lilly Kane got her fifteen minutes of fame with the headline straight out of a David Lynch tv show.

3. Despite the elder Kane’s not particularly caring for Logan, he was more family to Duncan and Lilly than anyone else in the world.

4. Duncan planned on marrying Veronica Mars the moment he laid eyes on her when they were 12.

5. They spent summers in LA going to the yacht club and dinning with celebrities. It’s how they met the Echolls family when Duncan was little.

6. Celeste cared more about her image than her children’s well being and nothing will convince Duncan otherwise.

7. All three living Kane’s have been arrested and suspected of murder.
8. Money makes the world go round; a family motto.

9. The rich are just as fucked up as the poor, they just have the money to keep people from finding it out or hiding behind therapy and pills.

10. Lilly was the strong one.

Duncan Kane
Veronica Mars